Relationships

Relationships

I have been working on this piece for three weeks now and I want to share what the word “relationship” means to me. There are three basic types of relationships: the one I have with myself, the one I have with others, and the one that is the product from the healing after the loss or critical change in a relationship.

After some exploration, I uncovered there are several directions or paths that relationships can take, and they include self-love, relationships to others, and the restoring of self after a painful relationship. The relationship that we have with ourselves (self-love) is about finding peace from within and gaining clarity with how to love yourself. First, I must continue my journey on making peace with my past. Second, work on the rewriting of negative stories I have established by reframing and building confidence. Lastly, discover where I feel connected, where I feel I belong, and take space where there is respect.

Relationships to others (family, coworkers, friends) is about finding the connections to others through the building and maintaining of trust, effective communication, and forming bonds. It is important to have awareness around who I feel connected to. I work on releasing blocks or resistance that get in the way of having the type of relationships I desire. I take action steps that are needed to keep me moving forward and to reach my goals, so it is important for me to surround myself with those who allow me to do that.

Restoring after a painful relationship is difficult and at times can be painful. Allowing myself to let go of relationships that are negative has been a process that I do not take lightly. I have experienced difficult and painful relationships that have prevented me from having new relationships or feeling empowered and confident in them. I have had to restore my trust of self and others, tap back into my personal power, see new possibilities, and come to believing that I am enough exactly as I am.

Relationships are complex. At times professional and personal relationships are intertwined and can provide value to becoming the best version of myself. What is amazing is that I can share differently with different people because people tend to bring out different characteristics of myself.  I find the more I nurture healthy relationships, I begin to learn so much about myself.

My healthy relationships provide the support I need to recognize when I need to place boundaries or let go of toxic relationships. This keep me moving in a forward direction to create the life I desire. I have come to understand people serve me in different ways, as I serve others differently, and it makes my life feel fulfilled. I notice there are different levels of friendships in my life which vary in breadth and depth- some superficial connections others have deep connections. Each relationship provides me different things: people I trust, people I can confide in, people that provide deeper understanding of who I am, people who can be honest (even ugly honest) with me, and people who provide me protection.

My biggest take away from my reflection of relationships is the discovery that I offer different truths with different people—and some people don’t deserve my truth. I do not need to be open and vulnerable to everyone all the time. It is ok to keep some of myself private and without explanation. I continue to explore the relationships in my life. I wanted to share the beginnings of my thoughts and I am sure I will continue to write on this topic throughout my life.

How do you see the best version of yourself through relationships?